I am the mother of two young children. I am the wife of a good man. I am a Daughter, Sister, Freind, and Human Being. I am also disabled.
My appearance does not fit the stereotype of disability- I do not use a wheelchair, or crutches, nor do I need a guide dog, or other service animal. I speak well. Many people enjoy conversating with me. Yet when any person finds out ( as they always will) that I have various diagnoses, and varying abilities, I inevitably hear one of two things- " Well, you look healthy to me, you don't look SICK !", or, " Oh, I'm so sorry, and at your age, too. Tch". Please.
Sick people have the flu, or cancer, or meningitis or something. A germ or other contagion has entered the person's body, where it will be hosted until the immune system ( and possibly medication) drive it out of their body. That is a sick person.
I am disabled- which is a silly term. Let's explore this term, " disabled". The word disabled is a synonym of the word, "incapacitated". It means that the subject is worthless, not usable, broken, used up, ruined. I am not worthless. I am usable, just in slightly different ways than others. I am certainly not broken, and I do not need to be fixed or repaired, thank you.
Many people confuse the terms, "sick" and "disabled" . I don't refer to myself as being sick or being disabled. I am me- a human being with a different than normal set of obstacles that occassionally must be overcome. Actually, most folks never really overcome their specific set of obstacles. We all learn how to adapt and work around or through them. My natural state is for me, different than most people's natural state of being.
Many times, I have had to request to my family members to " Please stop calling me sick.", or " Stop calling me disabled." I am a person- a whole person- just like anyone else. I cannot and I will not be defined by my diagnoses. Medical diagnoses does not make a person, nor define their identity.
We all will meet different peoples of every type on our journey through life. They are all of the same species as us. Good, bad or indifferent,we cannot make snap judgements about the people we meet. If we do not know someone we can not assume anything about that person. Use the Golden Rule and treat everyone you meet with dignity and respect. Treat them as you would like to know your loved ones are being treated by the people they meet. Look past the tools we use to make our lives easier. A wheelchair and a wrench are both tools-but no one looks at you funny when you are using the wrench. It makes no sense to me to look askew at the wheelchair. Please remember that we are all different in our own way, but we are very much more similar. We are all Human Beings.
2 comments:
Couldn't have said it better myself! You so eloquently put into words how I too feel about such labels. I get the exact same comments, and even though I need and use a Guide Dog, people still think I am a trainer since I am not totally blind! I am either not "disabled" enough, or too "disabled". Why does this have to be black or white? Can't we just be grey if we can, and be accepted as who we are, not by a label??
I enjoyed very much reading your blog - I hope to read more very soon!
Cathy
Blog: chattycathy@yahoo.com
Thank you, girl interrupted. I see ignorance in many forms every day. And most of the damage folks do is really not intentional. They don't understand our situations because they themselves have not been in such a situation. In a lot of cases, they don't even know anyone who has or is in the same boat. So it really is impossible for them to understand.
The Human Race is still learning to accept the things that cannot be fathomed or understood. It boils down to the same problem in religious, political, social, economic, educational differences. Different is different, and fear and ignorance breed irrational feelings of hatred or contempt and sometimes apathy- " If they don't care enough to try to improve their situation, why should I?"
We ALL need to be gentler and more accepting of each other as we go through life. At any time, roles can be reversed. We could be that person we were just putting down. Or them that put us down could become like us in a split second. Think about it.
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